Personal

Max is gone for 9 weeks. I'm sad :(

He checked in to his training thing Tuesday afternoon and I didn't get a call from him. I was flipping out. Did he really leave without saying goodbye? I had NO IDEA when or if I'd get to hear from him. I started to feel anxious, nervous, sad, short of breath. I thought I needed a cigarette or a cry. It was really hard NOT to go to the store to pick up cigarettes. I thought about why I felt the need to smoke and it was because I thought it would help me to inhale and exhale. Pathetic.

Luckily, he called at about 9pm and we talked for 10 minutes. He asked me to call his mom to let her know he was okay so once he left I called her. We chatted for a couple minutes and I think she could hear me bummed out and stuff so she said "If you miss him too much you can call me, okay?"

I cried a little bit once I got off the phone.

You see, my parents have been in Hawaii the entire week. They called me once on Monday for about 5 minutes and they don't really care about how I feel. I miss Max. I've been home by myself the whole time. The only time I verbally speak is at work. I wish I had a dog or something :P

Work has been consuming me. I don't really care to do anything else especially if it involves spending money. I just got asked to assist with styling at work tomorrow which should be good.

I've truly been surrounded by suck. Gossip Girl, Modern Family, and Grey's Anatomy have all been repeats. The only good movie that has been on tv was Remember The Titans. My tape/mp3 player thing for the car hasn't been working so my lonely drives to work have been plagued by mainstream radio crap.

Ahhh suck suck suck. I've been enjoying work though. Working harder, interacting more, pitching in to help...I'm kinda like my boss now, who is a raging workaholic going through a divorce, haha.

I'm passing the time at home by rewatching Generation Kill and "working out" which sadly only consists of pushups and crunches. Surprisingly, after 4 months of general physical inactivity, I've been able to do (consecutive) 40 pushups and 200 crunches. Since I've been out of school, I don't even walk anymore. I used to take breaks inbetween classes to walk and explore the city. No I just walk to and from the car to my office.

I guess what really bugged me was not getting to say goodbye to Max earlier on Tuesday. I didn't have that comfort. I felt so much better after he called and even though I only MAYBE be hearing from him during the weekend, his call gives me something to look forward to.

...Aaaand I just cut my nails so I can pick up my guitar again. Three days down, 70 to go.