The past couple of days have been really lame, yet wonderful!, as I've lounged around the house doing "nothing" while the rain and other wintry allergens get tossed and tumbled by the howling wind. Yes, howling.
"Nothing" means looking for work, not adding to my movie collection (because everything I want to watch MUST be done with Killer. Not out of obligation but pure want), staying up late, waking up later, a little drawing, no sewing...basically every characteristic of a lazy and unemployed person.
My sorta job through the '.com' website, the shopping referral start-up, hired me then a few days later announced that because of budget cuts they had to cut 7 out of 10 "Fashion Researchers". Initially what I thought was a chill, relaxed, outgoing office coulda been (most likely) just the thin outer layer of a badly organized and frantic...start-up. The work was really boring and long and required about 2% of brain usage. The lady that hired me was supposed to email or give me a call to see if the company would keep me (doubt it, seeing as I vacationed in Hawaii the weekend I was hired and hardly did any work) but she hasn't contacted me yet. Our paychecks are handled like invoices which means filling in your own hours and billing the company for your work so I wonder if, due to their unorganized CFO, I'll even be receiving one. I'm really interested in waiting to see if I could for once be right about something, in this case their relaxed/unorganized facade, and whether or not I'll actually get my paycheck at the end of the month I'll give the lady a call and talk to her about a more fashion related job.
Finding work here is hard. It's hard finding things I qualify for without giving up my dignity for a retail job LOL. But it's true. It's not fair for anyone to just be part of the working machine (because nowadays that's our only mean of income) if we want to do something that gives us meaning.
I feel this way about Killer. I know he feels pressured by me (weird) to do something impressive but it's because I put him on a pedestal. He's a MARINE. Marines have gone to boot camp; they come out completely changed. They are strong, intelligent, reliable, they are completely aware of their surroundings, they're not dumbos only capable of shooting bullets and it pains me that the only part-time job opportunity Killer can find (apart from his current application process for the LAPD, which I'm sure he'll ROCK) is sometimes the same as a high school kid. Killer deserves so much more. I don't like how society treats the men and women in our armed forces. They get treated as if shooting a bullet at a target and doing 20 pull-ups is all they're capable of doing and that it's mindless, mechanical work. It's so much more than that, it's about being tactical, consistent, mindful, honorable, very, very honorable, reliable...especially for Marines, cuz they're the bestest :P.
In my own field I deserve more but there's just nothing out there right now. And of course, both Killer and I are very capable but not on paper. I NEED something creative. It's sorta impossible to find a fashion job in SF so I've also been looking for clerical. I read about how women and now the bread-makers for the family as opposed to the husbands and although I've been seeing loads of job opportunities on Craigslist, I can understand that nobody wants to apply for a job they over-qualify for. Most men still hold the small number of higher positions like CPO, CFO, CEO and make more money than women so when they get laid off its hard to find another job of the same qualification level. However, from what I've seen and experienced at the school district, the department heads (mostly men) keep their jobs while the secretaries and office techs (aaall women, like me) have been hit the hardest. In my department, two of us were cut which left my coworker to support SIX department heads as opposed to two or three. Where do all the jobs go?!?!
Apart from sitting at home and wondering where my job went, I've been dreaming about all the things I want to do. It gives me a goal to work for. Moving to LA, finally getting a design-related job, moving in with Killer, going on vacations...I've also been looking at wedding stuff because I'm GOING to be planning Killer's cousin's wedding. Killer says I most likely won't but I say I mostly likely AM. I've been looking at venues and color palettes, DIY details and other budget-friendly ideas. His cousin and fiance are both about to start grad school so once I present my budget-friendly-but-not-tacky-also-non-Asian and DIY ideas the wedding should be mine :) I also found some venues that I'd like for my own future wedding that are unique and cheap so whatever venue I'm not set on having for myself I'll pass down the info to Killer's cousin. Killer said I'd give away all my good ideas which is so not true. I'd give his cousin something wonderful and unique and work with the couple to present them something that represents their relationship without sacrificing me and Killer's secret schemes. Muahahahaha. :P
Killer said about our wedding not happening 'til waaaay later "which makes us crazy, not stupid". We've got so many great and unconventional ideas paired with the beautiful ones and loads of other details already planned that I know in the future we're going to have to make some sacrifices in the future so our wedding doesn't look like a rainbow vomited on our celebration. I'm excited. Very excited because every detail is going to be something WE shared an idea about. Nothing half-assed, nothing generic. It's all "us". We're not having one of those weddings where the cake and table decorations are pink because it was what the bride wanted. I'm kinda scared to share anything now because we have such GREAT ideas. Maybe in a couple of years when we actually start planning the thing I'll document and share it all with those who are interested. So for now...top secret!
Another part of my whole unemployment thing is me having an awful sleep schedule. Regretfully, I dragged Killer into it "Pleeease! Play with me!" (Sorry). I spend aaaaall day doing a mix of boring nothings and things I enjoy from home (no $ to spend outside!) That I just let it drag on and on into the early hours.
Today I've got a meeting with two of my mom's friends to help with the design of their crêperie which will be remodeled into a Thai/French fusion restaurant. Both ladies had a general concept of what they wanted. As in very general. As in they had no concept or idea. As in "Modern", "No red or blue", "Lots of gold", "Something you've never seen in a restaurant before" and "Vintage" so I'm going to really rock this. I'm going to "tell them what they want" (hehe, Killer). I'm going to have trouble doing the modern thing because I love vintage and its history so I want to pitch two ideas:
*I'm very set on purple. They want classy. Classy is red. Or black. Lady #2 is superstitious so neither. It's purple. Purple is regal. Purple is the greatest.
**The ladies are getting a brick wallpaper? Or something? I couldn't grasp the concept and they couldn't explain it.
1.) Vintage with strange quirks
2.) Vintage and charming
Vintage with strange quirks: For this theme we have modern furniture. Walls are either brick or purple. I envisioned a wall with a scattered arrangment of gold rococo picture frames but the pictures inside are all black and white cameo silhouettes or anything for people to mooses(?), Sherlock Holmes, babies, usual customers, whatever. The lighting will be all modern/Ikea spot lighting. I was edging towards an industrial look but it kept pulling me back to Steampunk, which for its time was all about modern mechaniques (that word is underlined in red but it's prettier that way) but overall looks vintage. I've got to work on this. I don't really know how to do modern. I just want red and black so bad. So. Bad.
Vintage and charming: Majority of the cafe's customers are old white people. It's Fremont. And now, EVERYTHING I described to my mom...she agreed with! She even had ideas that I agreed with! The cafe's rival crêperie has an aaall-modern look. So why don't we go with vintage charm for our place? Antique birdcages from the ceilings, moose antlers painted in black lacquer or gold. Same with the rococo picture frames with an assortments of clocks and mirrors on the wall. a mix brass candlestick holders on the tables to golden lotus candle holders, a chiffon curtain draped from the ceiling (will have to check with fire marshall because it'd be cool to have it around the whole restaurant, for now it'll separate the couch area), mismatched chairs, Asian paper lanterns, trinkets and odds and ends everywhere. The idea here is to create a world that looks like the home of a traveler. It is old, it is lived-in. Everything is collected, everything comes from somewhere. Nothing is purchased from a mass production manufacturer. In this case, the traveler has been from Thailand to France.
SEE! I'm so torn! Because I can go on and on about option 2 but I know option 1 is what the ladies want! And my design philosophy is to enhance what you already have, not to completely change what is given. I dunno. But now it's 9:57 am and I was supposed to be there at 10am. Let's rock.
<5!
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