Overheard in New York

Hobo to bunch of hipster teenagers in line for a show: Is this the line for a shelter?
Teenagers: No.
Mini hipster girl, after he goes away: Oh, hell no. Did he just think I was homeless? I'm wearing fucking American Apparel.

Mom: First it will be spring, then summer, then time for you to go to kindergarten.
Four-year-old boy: Will there be nice kids there?
Mom: Are there nice kids at your day care now?
Four-year-old boy: Yeees...
Mom: You're the only bad kid at day care.
Four-year-old boy: I knooow!

Earth chick on cell: I had meditation and yoga class today. So, if you're coming over tonight we have to have spiritual sex.

Heavily made-up girl: Do you think retarded people are, like, conceptually aware that they're retarded?

Female shopper to Bloomingdale's cologne sprayer: Don't you dare spray your $30 over my $150.

Rich teen: I asked my mom to go to Louis Vuitton with me this weekend and she was like, "we're in a recession, let's go to Dolce."

Gay man: Oh my god, look!
Gayer man: What? That dead baby or those shoes?
Gay man: Yeah, the shoes.