All Wet, Applesauce, Attaboy

Two weeks ago Gossip Girl had a whole 1920's theme thanks to Chuck Bass' character investing and reopening an old bar that was around since the Prohibition era. Later on we find out he bought and expedited a botched liquor license from his crooked uncle and the cops broke down the party, ultimately bringing a whooooole lotta press coverage during the breakdown of his grand opening. Then, Chuck decides that he later wants to make the club very, very exclusive by leaving the chain and locks on the front doors and have all very, very exclusive guests enter through a back door. Coolbeans!

Before I get to screen captures, this is a picture of actress Blake Lively's 21st birthday that had a 20's theme. This was her REAL birthday, not a part of the show.

Oldies, but goodies.

Kevin Stewart of ESPN Magazine. First photographed by The Sartorialist on the streets, then picked up as lookbook model for Hickey's A/W 2009 Collection. His beard is fantastical.

Draw me that look

Now I'm at the SFO BART station, I've been sitting here for a good 5 minutes and the tourists I sat with on the bus JUST finished figuring out how to purchase tickets.

Anyways, this pathetic little entry is to continue complaining; this time to say "Gosh. How pathetic am I?" The last entry was sooo out of character. I guess that's what it's like for a feeler that does too much thinking? I am so sure my mood will improve once I get out of class today.

Ily

Please, fix me!

I'm currently at the San Mateo Marriott where I caught a ride with my mom. The game plan was to get here, ride the hotel shuttle to SFO, then hop on BART from there to get to school off of the Powell station. An epic, drawn out journey (kinda like me and Killer's relationship, hehe) all because my mom didn't want to backtrack 15 minutes to drop me off at the BART station.

All of the Bay Area is a disaster due to that snapped cable on the Bay Bridge. The bridge has been really annoying lately: new S-curve, the truck that flipped, now this cable. This morning the freaking car pool lane was stop and go.

This hotel shuttle is pretty convenient for tourists (I just figured out, brain doesn't work this early) because a group of them on the bus with me, they sound English, are "riding Bart to Powell Street which will take us directly to Fishermans Wharf" haha.

And I miss my person. It's annoying just being naturally drawn to someone and then "poof" being apart from it. I shouldn't have gone up to the ticket counter when my name was called because it ultimately took me all of Monday, sorta Tuesday, sorta Wednesday to get over myself.

I care about him a whole lot more than I did let's say...a couple weeks back. My defense system has gone done and I realized that I could only love him as much as I was willing to hurt and it actually feels pretty amazing.

The only way he could hurt me is if he dies (we made a deal!) And does that count as a vice? I wouldn't mind myself being the honorable sort of person that dies protecting others only because I couldn't handle being alive to feel what the aftermath of his absense and what that'll feel like. It sounds and feels selfish, and I try so hard to see the honor/death package but I really want him around. I've wanted him for a long time and I can't imagine how I could move on. Even my mother says "You're setting yourself up for heartbreak" and I really don't want her to be right. I'd rather have her mad at me than right.

I'm not normal!

Killer has been talking to me for what seems like the past few days about video games. I could really care less. I should tell him my opinion in person but I don't want to give him that pleasure yet. His last blog entry was aallll about video games too. Nothing about me =(

I've been really crabby and its my homework's fault. I won't be at ease until...Thursday, 6pm. I gave EVERYTHING into last weeks assignment and now I have to fix it up again. I've been letting myself sleep (sleeping lets me pretend my life is easy) but tomorrow is the final day before Week 4. =(